What Luca teaches us about friendship
It was in the year 2013 that I experienced my first heartbreak. But no, it was not because of a bitter Valentine’s date rejection or death of a loved one; It was graduation day — the pinnacle of an almost decade of hardship and the day that we bid farewell to the people we shared our joys, pains, and triumphs over the course of a year, even more so for some. Seeing my friends depart the space where I was safe and secured felt like an arrow ripped through my heart. It was the connection we had that made me complete.
“Seeing my friends depart the space where I was safe and secured felt like an arrow ripped through my heart.”
Such is the exact dilemma that Alberto Scarfano, a laid-back and lone “sea monster,” had come face to face in Pixar’s latest summer flick “Luca”.
On his first time meeting Luca Paguro, a fellow sea creature, Alberto instantly knew that they would become best of friends. The two fish folk are perfectly matched with the same interests such as wanting to hop on and ride a Vespa, have fun under the scorching sun, and seek the human world for the beauty it can offer. Seemingly at first, they were enjoying life and talking about their ambitions in life but as soon as Luca was introduced by Julia, an aspiring racer and later a friend, to the vast knowledge in the universe, he suddenly wanted to seek more beyond Vespa’s and pasta.
It was quite expected, perhaps even inevitable for someone like Luca, who had lived nearly all his teenage years deep into the ocean, to finally see the world for what it is — under the disguise of a boy attending school. However, the idea comes off quite unagreeable to Alberto, stating that a sea monster cannot get along with other humans. Even then, Alberto’s dream of living out his ambitious dreams with Luca was severely crushed by the former’s unforeseen interest in humanity.
Alberto: The Anatomy of a Friend
With his first scenes in the film, it was established that Alberto was only with himself collecting trashes in an abandoned lighthouse. Even if he is a sea monster, he was not there living in the community of his kind, which makes him a lone wolf surviving but enjoying life as any other man would. That is why when he met Luca, he found another version of himself who, like he, used to be an outcast. But as soon as we see Luca drifting away from the promise of Vespa and their life goals as friends, we see Alberto being envious — which can be completely understandable. It was revealed in the next few scenes that his father has left him alone in the tower for many days, and he probably was not acquainted with any fish folk before, which could be another factor to him being affectionate to his friend.
“… having friends does not mean being under the control of the other or the center of the universe but acknowledging that one has his own will of living that cannot be completely influenced by anyone, even your friends.”
It is only not the Vespa that was drifting away, but the friendship. We see Luca in several scenes becoming more and more closer to Julia, which somehow left Alberto with jealousy. This conflict got a name: friendship triangle, and just like with Luca, Alberto, and Julia; it happens to a lot of people too, especially in the youth. This kind of relationship can be, at most, toxic and harmful for both parties. When Luca revealed to Alberto that he wanted to go to school, the former got furious and threatened Luca by telling Julia who they are. The act was selfish, indeed, and even distasteful to someone who just wanted to gain new knowledge. But as soon as Alberto and Luca learned that a relationship can also entail letting go of the other, they respected each other’s decision and go on with their lives because having friends does not mean being under the control of the other or the center of the universe but acknowledging that one has his own will of living that cannot be completely influenced by anyone, even your friends.
Not everything is about you, and that’s okay.
Seeing a friend verging from the path you both realized can be painful, sometimes sentimental because we have grown to the idea that “that’s what friends are for,” but it is not. Sometimes, even that one closest friend will suddenly disappear from our senses but that does not mean that they don’t want friends anymore. They may be just excluding themselves from the tiring, destructive world of social media and achieve their actual life objectives.
“They build their narratives, and we are merely side workers in that actualizing that goal.”
To become the very ultimate friend, you should become more empathetic and supportive of their lives. They build their narratives, and we are merely side workers in that actualizing that goal. Though, their progress does not mean you have to abandon yours. Just like Alberto, he lived a life he has always wanted to have — he has gotten more friends in the town, lived a human life without fear that he would get spiked in the heart because he is a “sea monster.” In the end, Alberto and Luca became more grounded on their realities and strengthened their relationship by recognizing that being best friends do not translate to having the same dreams.
In this age of self-awareness and maturity, Luca has taught me one great lesson on relationships: I am not the center of the circle. Their attention will not always be only towards me, and it is okay.
